Reimagine your daily routine, redefine your goals, and get the heck out of your own way.
‘The Shuffle’ can take many forms, but the long and short of it is this – we’re programmed. Daily routines take hold and we forget that we’re the ones in the driver‘s seat.
Over time, we don’t realize these scripts are running but they are. There are a LOT of tabs open. And with that, comes a hard wiring in our brain that makes these pathways and routines, second nature – really not requiring much thought. Daily habits. The same way you learn to drive a car – or brush your teeth, the program is learned and uploaded, being executed seamlessly with not nearly as much effort as when you first were learning.
Feeling lost in the shuffle means you simply aren't making conscious decisions about how you spend your day. With this, you may feel unfulfilled, neglected or like you have zero time for yourself. Well, it's time to reclaim your shuffle.
As I sit and write this, my pup Hudson snuggled up by side , a warm cup of tea nearby - I can't help but reflect deeply on different points in my life when I felt out of control. I didn't take care of myself, neglected simple routines and ultimately felt like life was happening TO me, not by me or for me. The wind was blasting head on - everything seemed like a battle. Creating healthy routines, keeps me grounded - at night you'll often hear 'time for your routine?' as my husband starts up the tea pot and I shuffle off to the bathroom for my contacts/teeth brushing/face washing/vitamin taking combo that clearly showcases how much adulting is going on over here.
I am not suggesting that there aren't days that don't still feel like this, because there are. All I know is that these days are the exception not the rule. When you know better, you do better and for me - that meant getting some things in order, to give myself the best possible chance of feeling good and enjoying my life. When I went through my life coaching certification a few years back and had the chance to work 1:1 with many amazing clients - I realized how profound small changes to mindset and daily life can really be on our well-being.
If you're still reading, thank you - I already know you're ready to do the work and I am excited to share some of the things I've learned over the years, with you. So, let's do it.
When you first wake up in the morning, what do you do? You may have certain thoughts immediately enter your head, followed by a zombie-like walk to the bathroom and the familiar smell of coffee brewing. These founding steps of our day typically don’t even get much of a second thought.
It’s no surprise that even the largest of goals you are seeking can be broken down into small incremental changes to your daily routine. In fact, goals can often seem completely overwhelming because we don’t break them down into small immediate next steps.
The key for any of this stuff - is first mindset, and then – action.
Mindset can make or break anything you are striving for. With that, comes choices.
1. What are the things you do every single day, that are no longer serving you? This can seem very mundane, but it’s a great way to interrupt the daily programming to introduce variety and change into your life, in achievable ways.
Example: When you wake up, and your feet touch the floor – hold a moment of gratitude and a lust for life with the intention to let the day unfold without forcing it. Let this form a habit that will eventually override the previous program of 'Ugh, I'm still tired and I have SO MUCH to do today.' TIP: Put it on a sticky-note or put a positive quote on your nightstand to focus on.
While this is a micro mindset example, the second choice will be more macro in nature. Hint: The micro mindset adjustments are the key to achieving your biggies!
2. What is the biggest goal you have set for yourself in the next year? Go back to school? Build an emergency savings account? Lose 50 lbs? Make it a biggie for you (not someone else's standard), and put your entire being and will behind it. Chances are, it's been nagging you for some time. I am here to tell you once and for all, the time is now.
Pick a day to start, and take one small step towards this goal. Start with mindset, and then get out of your own way. No excuses, just take a step. Have faith that over time these little steps will add up and one day you will hit your goal. Rest when you need to rest, but let the goal become a non-negotiable, after you’ve made the decision, commit as if it’s not a choice and then take one step, followed by another.
Sounds like a no brainer right? Unfortunately it’s easier said then done for many without some tough love and accountability (Hi, Hello, I’m Lauren) - but, most importantly, it’s time to believe in yourself.
The time is going to go by anyways - it's your choice to either spend it feeling empowered or spend it looking back with regret that you didn't start sooner.
Note: Let's get real here, you already know whether or not you are going to be successful with achieving your goal. If it doesn’t feel right, take another look at it – maybe it’s not the right goal, don’t give up before you even begin or you will never find sustainability and always feel like you are forcing it. Why do you want it? That answer must feel authentic and not surface level desire. I have found for me that I must be REALLY fed up with something before I surrender and signal to the universe- show me the way. What are you fed up with?? There is fuel there, USE IT before it uses YOU!
Insight: If you struggle firming up a goal that feels like something you are fully on board with, focus on the shit you can't stand anymore. Tired of an achy body and no energy? HEALTH GOAL! Tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Abundance Goal! Tired of how you are being treated in relationships?? Self-love and boundary work, now boarding!
So, what will it be? Keep this goal in mind, you can use it for a journal exercise that is coming up in my next blog post titled 'Unlocking Greatness'.
3. This one, in my experience, is really important. How are you spending your free time? Is it bringing you inspiration and energy? Or, is it draining you? Pay attention to how you spend your free time – and I don’t care how busy you are, we all have some. Some may have more than others, but nonetheless we all have it. Mindless streaming and binging ain’t gunna get you closer to feeling inspired to start doing your creative work again. Try nature, try walks, try coloring, try cooking – try something that breaks you out of the rut.
Variety is the spice of life, season generously.
4. Who’s on your team? Are the peeps you call friends and family, inspiring you to be better simply by living their dream and walking their truth? Or are they drama mongers, spreading fear and asking questions like ‘I don’t know how you have time to fit it all in – you are going to burn out’ – or, ‘how can you do everything you do and still have time for your family?’ – insert another example here, all I am suggesting is that it’s very common for those closest to us to project their fear and internal inadequacies on us, and we need to stay woke to that at all times. Just observe it, and unsubscribe - don't let it land. Remember, our surroundings mirror our core beliefs. But, we'll save that for a future topic!
Now don't get me wrong, we all need someone in our lives that is willing to call us out and say HEY! STOP! You are doing too much. All I am sayin' is that you want to take a look at the intentions behind the words and at the same time, pay attention to how that person is living THEIR life. Are they on your list of inspirations? They walkin' the talk over there?
Doesn’t mean you need to rip through your friends and find new ones – all I am asking is that you make sure you have a few on the team that light you up, inspire you to be your best self and are fearless in their zest for life - for me, REAL and HONEST are a must. Bottom line, surround yourself with people (or content) that embody your aspirations. And, if you can’t find any (too late! You found this blog!!) – that’s okay, just don’t be afraid to get involved in the community or be open to finding other opportunities to meet new people and add variety to your centers of influence.
Insight: It’s important that you stay at the front of your pack as you venture into new territory. (Even if your pack consists of Determined, Party of ONE). Don’t look around and compare yourself, simply open up new opportunities to be inspired. This is so critical because the world doesn't need another cloned copy of what someone else is doing, the world needs you to blaze your own trail, and do it fearlessly.
Often times it can feel lonely at the front of the pack – but remember, there is someone else out there watching YOU for inspiration.
5) Identify your most important life pillars, and write them down. For example, mine are family, health, career and spirituality. These will become your compass - put it up on your fridge, phone wallpaper - or anywhere else that it can serve as a daily check point. In no particular order, they all need love so stop force ranking them over there! I see you!
The pillars of balanced living are different for everyone, but one thing remains true for all – you must pay attention to each pillar that is important to you and nurture them. It's natural to not be able to tend to them all at once! One day you might be all in on the health pillar, the next career, followed by family connection for the week following that. There will be days where you feel like you ‘neglected’ one of the pillars, that’s okay – just remember at the end of it, you have to give attention to each to ensure you are living your values and what is important to you while still feeling a sense of balance. You are in the driver's seat at all times, adjust course accordingly.
So, if you’ve been obsessively working out for a straight year, but aren’t happy with your career or maybe love life – congratulations on your lonely six pack. It's okay - I'm jelly of those abs, but - how's that heavy pour of energy workin' out for the other areas of your life? That same level of determination can be applied to other areas, but remember – not everything has to feel the same. So maybe your fearless, relentless approach to crushing your fitness goals, might not yield the same results in your love life? Yep, when there is 'another party' involved, adjustments and compromises are inevitable, just remember:
Be willing to give up control when needed, and remember that both soft and fierce can coexist.
At the end of the day, or sporadically anytime you are feeling out of balance - simply sit with your pillars and feel where you have been pouring your energy. If one is overflowing and the others have been neglected, simply put your attention where it needs to be the next day, unapologetically. <-- another topic we will get to in the coming weeks!
Don’t get lost in the shuffle, especially considering – that the shuffle is actually designed by YOU.
You really can have it all, despite what anyone else may think. Vision big, start small, realign as needed and remember why you are doing it.
Let that last statement, be your mantra. My goal is to continue to share this knowledge with you, no strings attached, to help shake up those brain waves in order for you to live your best life.
All I ask in return is that you commit to being the absolute best version of yourself, and trust me to be your guide. (Oh, and be sure to subscribe at the bottom of this page, I will be posting regularly to keep you focused and don't want you to miss anything). Feeling stuck? Shoot me an email, I'd love to hear from you and will post on the topics you want more of!
Any friends or family that could use a nudge but you're tired of telling them their business? (hint, you can't fix that) share this!
Wishing you everything that lights up your spirit in the New Year!
p.s. Looking for a new way to start your day? Start it with me! Check out my YouTube channel for quick daily inspiration or follow Discover Essenza on your fav. social channels (links at the top of my site).
p.s.s. Check out my blog post - 5 Steps to a New You for a detailed guide on how to create a transformative vision board! This will help you heal any cracks in the foundation that might be preventing you from building your dream you!