The past two weeks have felt like a total derailment of progress for me. Simply put, I am overcommitted. Over time, slowly adding more and more to my plate - things that I have consciously chosen and brought into my life. They bring me joy, and sometimes they don't - but every bit of it, is contributing positively to the vision I see for myself in the future.
As a full time executive, wife, mom of two, life coach, graduate student and home keeper - I am often faced with little comments from people who love me deeply, reminding me that I am doing too much. At least, from their perspective. Literally tipping the scales the past few months - embarking on a wellness journey, losing 25 lbs - hitting the halfway point on that goal, and reminding myself that rest is essential.
I've orchestrated things in my life that truly help me grow and working hard towards my goals is hard wired into me - it's part of who I am. I can't sit idle for too long. I still create space for 'sitting' with myself, through meditation, journaling, resting - some days are super 'productive' and I've learned that those 'other' days are as well. It's a reminder that you can take some time to reprioritize, shift into another lane of your life or simply sit idle - the journey still continues. This 'work' is just as important because it allows me the opportunity to remain in check with my motivators.
Why am I doing what I am doing, what still needs healing, and how is that need for healing influencing the actions I am taking.
Learning to rest, not to quit - is the lesson in it all.
Sometimes the 'wins' are small, other times they feel huge. It's all progress. And then? COVID hits. Up until this week, the stress felt external - the lives lost, numbers, stats, impact on the economy and business. Now? It's in my home.
The papers are still due, the responsibilities still exist - but the priorities shift. There seems to be this stigma that's emerging like getting COVID is a dirty little secret. It's not. Handle it, be responsible, and let people care for you - let people know what you are going through so that they can try to be there for you the way that you show up for them, time and time again.
Letting people help you when you truly need it, is the ultimate in vulnerability. If you are shielding your real troubles from your loved one's then you may want to reexamine what you are so afraid of. Creating stories in your mind about how they will respond or not, is a fantasy. You won't know until you know, and then you get to choose how and when you want to engage. The things we keep hidden will always emerge into the light and have the potential to cause even more harm than just being up front and honest about what you are going through.
Don't blame anything or anyone else when your world seems isolated and cut off from love. Scrambling to create that love for yourself - without tapping into the beautiful relationships around you.
No one will see you as a victim, unless you present that way. Let people in, and give them a chance to show up for you. It's a tough one, born from past hurt, hardship and let downs.
Don't quit on honesty and love, don't quit on vulnerability, don't quit on your loved one's - rest. Rest when needed, and then get back up and keep going, show up.
Priorities and relationships aren't etched into stone. You are in the driver's seat. The art of being gentle with yourself during rest stops, is the very energy that will fuel you to keep going. Don't beat yourself up if it's not perfect, nothing is.
Real self love = Calling yourself out on your own shit, in order to grow.
Next time you feel like quitting, define what that really means. Are you really quitting or just resting? Resting is essential, quitting is extreme. In either scenario, compare it to your ultimate vision - where do you see yourself in the future, how do you want to grow and evolve? If quitting and doing something else - gets you closer to that vision, great. If not, learn to rest - and then get back up, and keep going.
Let people in, call yourself out on the drama YOU are creating in your mind, rest, recalibrate and be honest.
Love,
L
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